I had a tough time deciding what to write this week's blog about. Here were some of my top choices:

• NFL cheerleaders and plastic surgery (in honor of the Super Bowl) -- unfortunately, I couldn't dig up anything good on the topic
  
• Labiaplasty blog on women with two vaginas -- yes, Tyra Banks actually found 5 such women and put them on her show recently (is she any better than Jerry Springer?) -- this one may have been a bit too racy for me to handle without getting fired
  
• The popularity of different plastic surgery procedures based on region of the country -- boring!

Fortunately, I came across a story about a woman in the throes of desperation, driven to extreme measures in order to win back her boyfriend. I'm sure plenty of you can relate to the feeling. There's no telling what people will do to hold onto someone they love until they are faced with the very real threat of losing that person. These are often the stories that make up the rather one-dimensional plots of screwball comedies. Except on the big screen, we tend to laugh at these situations. When it involves someone we know and care about, the response is generally more like, "D'oh!"

Xiaoqing is a 21-year-old woman from China. Her 28-year-old boyfriend recently broke up with her and she hasn't been the same since. Her devastation is so all-encompassing that she is ready to try anything -- and I mean anything -- to win him back. This includes undergoing extensive plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba, her ex-boyfriend's favorite actress (he's reportedly obsessed with her films -- I guess there's no accounting for taste in China).

Wait a minute, didn't I just write about this recently? Someone getting extensive plastic surgery to look like a famous Jessica? Oh wait, that was Jessica Rabbit. I'm not sure which is worse, a British woman in her late 50s trying to look just like a cartoon character or a Chinese woman trying to look like a blond Caucasian bombshell. Either way, these people need serious therapy. Crazy plastic surgery junkies, what's wrong with looking like yourself? That was so 20^th Century. Today, it's all about looking like someone else. Why be original when you can pay someone to cut you up and make you look like your favorite celebrity?

If I were to get plastic surgery to look like someone famous, I'd choose Michael Jackson. That would really confuse the crap out of the plastic surgeon. Which of his 18 different noses should I choose? What would my skin color be? The options are limitless. "Doc, I'll take MJ's 1987 nose, his 1992 skin complexion, and his 1976 eyes. Oh, and make sure I get his pre-Pepsi commercial 'I'm on fire' accident hair." I would have so much fun watching the bewildered expression on the surgeon's face as he tried to talk me out of my impending plastic surgery nightmare. I guess I just have a sick and twisted sense of humor.

But back to our story...

Xiaoqing went to a hospital in Shanghai for her procedure. The doctors didn't want to sugar coat it for her. They told her it would take a miracle the equivalent of Moses parting the Red Sea to make an Asian girl look like a blond Caucasian woman, especially one with a face as iconic as Jessica Alba's. But Xiaoqing is unflappable in her resolve. She will get her boyfriend back, no matter what it takes.

And what will it take, you ask? I can't say for certain, but I'll venture to speculate:

• Blepharoplasty -- Definitely, without a doubt, must be done! We need to round out those eyes, don't you think?
  
• Lip implants -- Jessica's are much poutier than Xiaoqing's.
• Breast augmentation -- Another must-have, don't you think?
  
• Liposuction -- I haven't seen Xiaoqing's body, but I doubt she has Jessica's curves.
  
• Rhinoplasty -- We need to reconstruct this girl's face, so let's just throw in the nose job for good measure.
  

Of course, she may need several other procedures as well. After all, she is trying to look like a famous actress.

Xiaoqing:

Jessica Alba:

You might be wondering how a 21-year-old girl from Communist China can afford all this plastic surgery. An excellent question. I was wondering the same thing myself. In a brief moment of generosity, the hospital decided to perform the surgery free of charge in return for the rights to publicize her story across the globe.

No kidding. I guess there is no Hippocratic Oath for doctors in China. Instead of turning this poor woman away and referring her to psychologist (the honorable and ethical decision), they chose to whore themselves out for a little worldwide press. Ah, to be a plastic surgery pimp.

Here is Xiaoqing's rationalization for her life-altering decision: "As a member of the younger generation in this country, I have a choice to decide what I want in life. I have never been able to let him go. If in the end, he still does not accept me after I undergo the plastic surgeries, I will give up. I will then choose to let go, start afresh and live life by myself."

My commentary:

• You can choose to decide what you want in life, but so can your ex-boyfriend. Clearly, he chose to NOT keep you in his life. Deal with it. Don't be a spoiled brat and act like it is your right to make him be with you. Life doesn't work that way, no matter what country you live in.
  
• If he chooses to take you back after your surgery, I would be a bit skeptical about your relationship. Do you really want to be with someone who would only take you back because you looked like his favorite celebrity vixen? That isn't really the type of person you want to date. There are over a billion people in China. I'm sure you can find someone with a little more substance and integrity than that.
  
• If this doesn't work, do you really think you are going to give up? Really? Don't insult my intelligence. You are crazy enough to undergo massive plastic surgery to look like a completely different person. You will not stop just because he says, "Sorry. I still don't want you." I'm not sure what crazy plan you'll hatch next, but let's be clear about one thing. This will not be your last attempt to win back this dude. Can we say restraining order?
  
• When he eventually rejects you AGAIN, which I'm sure he will because you are clearly CRAZY, you will have to start afresh by living your life by yourself, but looking like someone else. Not only will you be alone, you will broadcast to the rest of the world that you are completely nuts, and no one will ever want to date you again. Even if you do look like Jessica Alba.
  
• Oh, and what are the odds that the plastic surgeon will be able to pull off this miracle? What happens when you come out of surgery looking not like Xiaoqing and not like Jessica Alba, but like some mish-mashed monstrosity? Then what? How's your ex-boyfriend going to react if you look like a freak? This is the gift that keeps on giving. You will forever have a constant reminder of the lowest moment of your life every time you look in the mirror. Most likely, you will not like what you see.
  

Sorry to be harsh, Xiaoqing. I'm just calling it like it is.

If you live in the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area and have a reasonable plastic surgery request, please contact experienced Pittsburgh plastic surgeon Dr. James Barber today to schedule your initial consultation. However, if you want to look like Jessica Alba, Jessica Rabbit, Jessica Simpson, or any other famous Jessica, you may want to consider visiting a psychologist before booking your plastic surgery consultation.

Eduardo Ravelo has recently been anointed to the FBI's Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list. He is wanted on federal racketeering charges, and the FBI believes he is responsible for dozens of murders in the bloodbath that has recently taken place between rival gangs near the Texas-Mexico border.

Ravelo has also been linked to drug trafficking, extortion, weapons offenses, and money laundering. He is considered to be a very powerful figure in the Barrio Aztecas cartel in Juarez. Yet, while Ravelo's criminal actions have put him on the FBI radar, he has been able to successfully elude capture for quite some time.

His secret -- plastic surgery. Ravelo has shaved his head, undergone extensive facial plastic surgery, and even manipulated his fingerprints to avoid capture.

I have never thought about the idea of getting plastic surgery to elude the authorities, but it actually seems like a very smart idea. After all, Ravelo can now move freely in airports, avoid being detected on surveillance cameras, and even be stopped by the police for speeding without registering on their radar. Even if he was stupid enough to antagonize police, his fingerprints wouldn't match up with the ones they have on file for him. Absolutely brilliant.

However, I'm wondering about the moral code of his plastic surgeon. Do you think this doctor knew he was aiding and abetting one of the most dangerous criminals in the world? If so, did he perform the surgery out of fear or because Ravelo was one of the rare customers who actually paid for his procedure in cash?

Most likely, this plastic surgeon would have been too frightened to turn down Ravelo as a patient. After all, such an action would most likely lead to the surgeon getting "whacked" by one of Ravelo's goons. Personally, I'd be afraid to take him on as a patient. If the procedure didn't accomplish a radical enough transformation in his appearance, I'd most likely be staring down a death sentence. I've seen Analyze This. It's best to just say no to gangsters as patients, no matter what your medical specialty may be.

But this is a very intriguing subject. I've always had this mental image of gangsters as people who are very rugged and tough. In many ways, plastic surgery seems to be against the mobster code. Could you see Tony Soprano getting plastic surgery? Fuhgeddaboudit! It took him 3 or 4 seasons to admit to seeing a psychiatrist. Plastic surgery? He'd be killed for sure.

So I did a little digging on the subject, and I found out that some mobsters have actually opted for plastic surgery out of necessity, just like Ravelo. More often than not, it seems mobsters will alter their appearance after testifying against their former cronies. Apparently, the fear of death at the hands of one's fellow mobster is a stronger motivator than fear of capture by the FBI. Shocking.

Here are some other notable cases of mobsters who have been faced with the choice of plastic surgery:

• Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" Gravano, a former member of the Gambino crime family, went into the witness protection program after testifying against former mob boss John Gotti. He opted for a facelift
  to help him blend in better in his new Arizona zip code. Unfortunately, he couldn't stay out of trouble, and his new identity was compromised when he was busted by Arizona police for running an ecstasy ring in 2000.
  
• Joseph "Joe Campy" Campanella, a member of the rival Colombo crime family, testified against his boss after the Colombo family killed his mentor and failed in an attempt to kill him. However, Joe Campy is not afraid of dying. Not only did he refuse to enter the witness protection program, he still uses his own name, resides in Brooklyn near all of the mobsters who want to kill him, and will not get plastic surgery. Amazingly, he is still alive.
  
• Joey Calco, a former hit man for New York's Bonanno crime family, testified against his fellow mobsters. He relocated to Florida, changed his name to Joseph Milano, and opened a successful pizza place called Goomba's Pizzeria (not the most inconspicuous of names, I might add). Things were going great for Calco until one night earlier this year, when he was arrested for assaulting two customers with a deadly weapon. The customers were angry about their botched calzone order and wanted a refund. Calco apparently overreacted. Now he is desperately in need of some plastic surgery to avoid turning up dead in a local river.
  
• Lorenzo Giordano, a Montreal mobster working for the Rizzuto crime family, was recently apprehended while running on the treadmill at his gym in Toronto. Authorities have been looking for the high-ranking Montreal mobster for more than six months, but have been unable to locate him due to his hair plugs and facial plastic surgery. It is uncertain how Canadian authorities finally caught up with Giordano, but it seems that he should have gone to a better plastic surgeon.
  

I'm sure there are many other tales of mobster plastic surgery, but since the players involved are seeking anonymity, their stories are kept secret. It seems that only after these mobsters do something stupid to blow their new identity do we find out about their plastic surgery.

I would like to note that I was unable to find any mention of high profile mobsters opting for treatments such as BOTOX or liposuction to help attract a more beautiful "gumah." I suppose no self-respecting mobster would ever admit to going under the knife for a prettier face or more toned body. I'm sure it's against the mobster code.

If you are a New York mobster in need of a makeover before entering the witness protection program, please contact experienced New York City plastic surgeon
Dr. George Lefkovits today to make him an offer he can't refuse.

...At least, according to commonly held business practices in the United States. Apparently, things work a little differently in China.

In American culture, the customer is generally placed on a pedestal, especially in service industry jobs (yes, believe it or not, plastic surgery is considered part of the service industry):

• Restaurant workers will jump through hoops to take good care of patrons in the hopes of receiving good tips
  
• Store owners will accept returns from dissatisfied customers, exchange merchandise, and even offer full refunds in the hopes of receiving future business
  
• Plastic surgeons will go to great lengths to ensure that patients receive their desired results; they may even offer extensive revision surgery to ensure that angry patients do not bring a maelstrom on their practice which may potentially jeopardize future business
  

Personally, I do not subscribe to the philosophy that "the customer is always right." I have worked many service industry jobs during my life, and in my experience the customer is often dead wrong and outright rude about it. However, I also understand the complications associated with pointing out to a revolting customer that he is completely out of line. Doing this may often cost you your job. So I have been forced to deal with these difficult situations the way everyone else in the industry has -- grin and bear it.

However, I do subscribe to the philosophy that it is important to treat the customer with the highest levels of respect, and I do everything in my power to try and ensure that the customer's experience is positive and memorable. After all, the goal is to earn repeat business from your customers and get new business from customer recommendations.

It seems that a plastic surgery facility in China has never been informed of this philosophy, or perhaps they just don't care. Either way, they don't seem to be too interested in patient satisfaction.

A woman went to this particular Chinese plastic surgery practice for breast augmentation three years ago. They botched her procedure, and one breast came out larger than the other. The plastic surgeon refunded her money, but did nothing to rectify the inequities in her breasts. As a result, this poor woman has been walking around with lopsided, asymmetrical breasts for the past three years.

She has come to the plastic surgery facility many times, arguing with them in hopes of receiving additional money that she could use to get her botched breast implants fixed by a more reputable surgeon. Each time, she has been turned aside empty handed.

On her most recent trip to the plastic surgeon's office, she caught the staff just as they were closing up for the day. The staff locked her in the office and went home. The poor woman sat in the plastic surgery office for four hours before calling the police for help. When they arrived, they broke a window to get her out of the office.

I have never heard of anything this absurd in my life. Who locks someone in their office and goes home? Not only is it completely unprofessional, it is just plain stupid. The staff took a serious gamble by leaving her in there, alone and angry, with expensive surgical equipment. They dodged a bullet here.

I'm shocked that the woman sat there patiently for four hours before calling the police. If someone had done that to me, I would have trashed the office. I would start with the most expensive equipment and machinery I could find and work my way down. It would look like a tornado hit that office when I was through. And then I would have broken the window myself to escape. But before leaving, I would find a big sharpie and draw a huge hand with a middle finger extended on their wall. Just to send a message.

It's not as if they could report me to the police. What are you going to say: "We held this person hostage in our office overnight and he trashed it in an attempt to escape?" That wouldn't exactly fly with the police. They gave this woman a free shot to exact her revenge on them after three years of being mistreated, and she blew it. Instead, she just took it on the chin. Silly woman.

I suppose that there is a moral to this story as well. When you attend an initial consultation with a potential plastic surgeon, pay attention to how you are treated by the doctor and his staff. Are they polite? Do they answer all your questions? Are they attentive to your needs?

If you get any negative vibes during this initial interaction, run for your life. You don't want to find out that the staff locks you in their office after refusing to make good on your botched surgery. If the surgeon and staff are nice to you at your consultation, chances are they will not pull these types of shenanigans.

If you live in the New York City area and are looking for unparalleled levels of customer service from your plastic surgeon, please contact experienced New York plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits today to schedule your initial consultation at Park Plaza Plastic Surgery. Dr. Lefkovits has never locked an angry patient in his office, nor does he intend to do so in the future.

With our nation still reeling from the effects of the current recession, many people are taking drastic measures to achieve the body of their dreams. For those who can't afford the high price tag of many plastic surgery procedures, black market operations have become an increasingly popular option. Unfortunately, black market plastic surgery comes with a serious risk of life-altering injuries and even death.

Recently, a Brazilian couple was arrested outside of Boston after performing a fatal black market liposuction procedure on a woman. Fabiola DePaula, a 24-year-old Brazilian immigrant living near Boston, died from complications related to her liposuction, which was performed on a massage table in the blood-stained basement of a local condominium. Her death raises the important question: how common are black market plastic surgery procedures across the country?

Luiz Carlos Ribeiro and his wife, Ana Maria Miranda Ribeiro, pleaded not guilty to charges of unauthorized practice of medicine in relation to the death of DePaula. The Ribeiros are Brazilian nationals, and while they may possess a license to practice medicine in Brazil, they are not licensed in Massachusetts. After autopsy results are released, they may face charges of manslaughter or murder as well.

At least two other women have come forward claiming that the Ribeiros performed plastic surgery on them in that blood-stained condo. One of these women is currently in the hospital recovering from an infection sustained during her procedure. Since the Ribeiros ran a cash-only business and did not keep records, it is uncertain how many other women came to them for discounted plastic surgery.

For the past 2-3 years, the Ribeiros have been coming to Massachusetts from Brazil on 30-day work visas in order to perform black market plastic surgery in this condominium basement. They charged $1,800-$3,000 per procedure, which is considerably cheaper than what these procedures would cost from a licensed, board-certified plastic surgeon operating at an accredited hospital or out-patient medical facility.

The Ribeiros got their business from word-of mouth referrals, and the majority of their patients were local Brazilian immigrants. Neighbors living in the condo told investigators that they have known about the black market operation for a long time.

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated example of an unscrupulous person practicing medicine without a license or the proper staff and facilities. There are many similar black market plastic surgery operations across the country offering people cosmetic makeovers for severely discounted prices. The irresponsible behavior of these individuals has placed many lives in danger.

Having your plastic surgery performed by a black market operation is not like going to your local flea market to find a bargain deal on knock-off designer clothes. In the latter case, your life will go on as usual if you find that the imitation falls apart after a few wearings. If you opt for knock-off plastic surgery and the quality mirrors the discounted price, it may cost you your life.

Plastic surgery is not cheap. That is a reality of life. If you can't afford your desired procedure, you will have to either look for creative financing options or just live with your appearance as is. Some people would love to drive a Mercedes, but they can only afford a Hyundai. They drive the Hyundai.

The risk of severe complications associated with plastic surgery is too high to jeopardize your life and health by going to a black market surgeon. If you are going to get plastic surgery, it is crucial that you use a licensed, board-certified plastic surgeon who operates out of an accredited hospital or out-patient medical center. Otherwise, you might become another tragic story like Fabiola DePaula.

If you live in the New England area and are interested in plastic surgery, please contact the Providence, Rhode Island plastic surgery office of Coastal Plastic Surgery Center today to schedule your initial consultation with Dr. Leon Goldstein.

Women all throughout Saudi Arabia are undergoing changes to their appearance, but you'd never know it. Due to their religious customs and national culture, these cosmetic alterations are buried underneath heavy robes and long veils. Nevertheless, the incidence of plastic surgery in Saudi Arabia is rising rapidly, even if the results are being hidden from the public by traditional religious garb.

It appears that the global information age has infiltrated just about every corner of the world, and the Middle East is no exception. Over the past decade, several Western norms have begun to take root in Saudi Arabia. One of these is a greater acceptance of plastic surgery -- at least by the Saudi women.

Studies indicate that the most popular procedures for women are liposuction, breast augmentation, and rhinoplasty. Men are most commonly seeking hair implants and nose jobs.

However, Saudi Arabian culture remains dominated by Islamic tradition. In recent years, this rise in the popularity of plastic surgery has created some tension among the community, creating a rift between those who desire to join the secular world and those who wish to retain a traditional religious society.

For the first time, Islamic clerics have been forced to grapple with the acceptability of plastic surgery in Saudi Arabian culture. What is sanctioned by Allah? What is forbidden? Three years ago, Muslim clergymen met with plastic surgeons to determine whether plastic surgery procedures were in violation of the Islamic tenet prohibiting us from tampering with God's intended creation. At this meeting, a consensus (albeit a rather arbitrary one) was reached between the secular and the religious.

The following procedures have been sanctioned by the Islamic clergy:

• Breast augmentation for unusually small breasts
  
• Cosmetically altering features that cause a person grief
  
• Reversing damage sustained in an accident
  

The following procedures have been forbidden:

• Undergoing an unsafe procedure
  
• Changing the shape of a "perfect feature" just to resemble a singer or actress
  

I'm not exactly sure how these guidelines were arrived at. They seem about as arbitrary as the beliefs of pro-lifers who claim that abortion is acceptable in cases of rape and incest but not for any other reason. If it is acceptable in some circumstances, shouldn't it be acceptable in all circumstances? If it is a moral issue, then it should never be allowed. If it is not, then it should always be allowed. It seems to me that the same should hold true with plastic surgery.

Most likely, this consensus resulted from a realization on the part of Islamic clergy that plastic surgery was not going to go away in their culture, no matter how forcefully they tried to condemn the practice. At some point, you must get with the times and accept what people are no longer asking your permission to do. Otherwise, you will undermine your authority in other situations.

Interestingly, it seems that fundamentally, Islamic tenets would lean towards a rejection of plastic surgery. This is in sharp contrast with Judeo-Christian tenets, which lend more of a religious approval to plastic surgery. Regardless, in an age where physical appearance trumps religious faith in many corners of the world, it is inevitable that such a view would eventually begin to permeate Islamic countries that have been exposed to Western cultures.

I do find it curious that Muslim women who still hold onto traditional attire such as heavy robes and long veils would feel compelled to opt for plastic surgery. After all, these women are spending a great deal of money to keep the results of their procedure hidden from public view. Why go through such major surgery if you cannot show off the results?

One Saudi woman in her late 20s offered an explanation for this phenomenon. According to this woman, who wished to remain anonymous, many Saudi women are already wearing designer clothes and sport trendy haircuts underneath their robes. This behavior has set the tone for a greater acceptance of plastic surgery.

These Western styles and cosmetic makeovers are intended to be displayed to peers at women's gatherings, to husbands in the privacy of their own homes, and when traveling abroad. According to our anonymous Saudi woman, private gatherings and trips abroad occur frequently enough to justify the expenditure.

While it appears that plastic surgery may become more firmly entrenched in Saudi culture over the next decade, a tension still exists between the modern and the traditional. This tension is manifest by the fact that there is a broad spectrum when it comes to what the nation's plastic surgeons are willing to perform. Depending on your desired procedure and your reasons for seeking surgery, you may need to consult a plastic surgeon with a more liberal disposition in order to find someone willing to perform your surgery.

Of course, if you are unable to find a Saudi doctor to perform your procedure, you can always come to the United States, where plastic surgeons do not accept or decline potential patients based on religious doctrine. If you live in Saudi Arabia and want to take a plastic surgery vacation, please contact the Los Angeles plastic surgery office of Bray Plastic Surgery today to schedule your initial consultation. You can visit Disney Land while you recover from your procedure.

The shocking and untimely death of Michael Jackson yesterday afternoon has left the entire world buzzing. People all across the globe have been voicing their reactions, his music has once again dominated the airwaves, and many Internet sites -- including CNN, Google, and Wikipedia -- completely crashed yesterday afternoon as millions across the world tried to gather information about this breaking story.

Michael Jackson certainly had a roller coaster career, achieving heights equaled by only a select few artists and lows that go unrivaled by his peers in the entertainment industry. Sadly, in recent years he has become known more for his eccentric behavior and plastic surgery
nightmares than for his enduring contributions to music. Between his myriad nose jobs, facelifts, and skin bleaching procedures, the King of Pop has also earned the moniker, the King of Bad Plastic Surgery.

Unfortunately, many of the articles reporting his death speak of these forgettable moments. Hopefully, as he is remembered in the weeks to come, people will focus on the positives of his legacy, because it is undeniable that his contributions to the world of music and entertainment rank among the greatest of all time.

In the 1980s, the world of pop music was dominated by Michael Jackson. His Thriller album shattered sales records for the time, selling almost 50 million copies worldwide and holding the number 1 spot for 37 weeks. I was about 7 or 8 years old when the album took the world by storm. I remember it very well. It was one of the first albums that ever had a major impact on me, and probably contributed to my burgeoning interest in music.

Jackson also helped launch MTV into the juggernaut it became during the 80s. His elaborately choreographed music videos became the gold standard for which others aspired to achieve, and his extended-length video for the song "Thriller" has arguably never been paralleled since.

But most important to Jackson's legacy is undoubtedly the doors he opened for other black artists. In his heyday, he was as iconic as the Beatles were in the mid 60s. While there were many black artists before him to achieve widespread success, none reached the levels of Michael Jackson. For the better part of a decade, he was the biggest pop star in the world (hence his nickname), and his style, music, and dance moves were imitated by many others trying to emulate his model of success.

Hopefully, this will be his enduring legacy, and people will forget about the eccentricities that have marred his life and career over the past 15 years. There are hundreds of black musicians, actors, artists, athletes, and politicians who owe a huge debt of gratitude to Michael Jackson. They all benefited by being able to walk through the huge doors opened by Jackson in the early part of his career. Without a doubt, the massive levels of success experienced by many hip hop and R&B artists over the past two decades was largely made possible by the path blazed by Michael Jackson in the early 80s. In many ways, he is the entertainment equivalent of Jackie Robinson or Martin Luther King Jr.

Michael Jackson's death has left a huge void in the music and entertainment world. It is uncertain if we will ever see another entertainer reach his heights and accomplish as much as he did in our lifetime. Hopefully we will, but if we do not, it will only further add to his lofty legacy.

Plastic surgery can make people do crazy things. It seems that some people will stop at nothing to have their dream bodies. When I say nothing, I am including murder. That's right, murder. It appears that for a Colorado Springs man, the murder of his mother was a sacrifice worth making to pay for his girlfriend's breast augmentation.

The details of this case are as sinister and gruesome as they are bizarre. You can almost see the Coen brothers making this into their next film. Think of it as somewhere in between the twisted psychosis of Fargo and the comedic ineptness of Raising Arizona. Fortunately, the attackers were incapable of getting the job done -- maybe we need to throw The Big Lebowski into the equation as well.

The botched murder plot, which has been called the "boob job murder" case, was hatched by 19-year-old Nikita Lee Weis, who hired two men to kill his mother. Weis wanted to murder his mother for money. However, he was not looking for a big payoff -- this brutal crime was to be committed over chump change.

Once his mother was out of the way, Weis planned to sell her car on the Internet so that he could pay for his girlfriend's rent and breast implants. It is uncertain if Weis expected any other financial windfalls from the murder of his mother. I would hope so, since he went to great lengths to risk the life of his mother as well as his own personal freedom to sell a used car. Depending on the car, it is likely that he would not have even received enough money for it to pay for the boob job.

On the day the deed was to be done, a man dressed in black entered Ms. Weis' house and hit her on the head with a miniature baseball bat. Had they brought a full-sized bat to do the job, they might have had better luck. As it turns out, the miniature baseball bat was not enough to render Ms. Weis unconscious. She quickly set off her car alarm, which scared the would-be murderer away.

Had this attempted murder been successful, the conspirators planned to wrap her body in plastic and bury it in the desert in either Arizona or New Mexico. I wonder if they would have used her car to transport the dead body before trying to sell it online. They would have brought new meaning to the term "new car smell."

Weis' girlfriend, 21-year-old Sophia Nicole Alsept, has just been sentenced to two years in prison for her role in the botched "boob job murder" plot. Currently, Weis and the other two conspirators have yet to be sentenced. I wonder if his mother will visit him in jail.

If you need to scrape together some extra cash to pay for your plastic surgery, there are many other ways to legitimately come up with the money. If you can't put the procedure on your credit card, you can ask your plastic surgeon about the financing options he offers. Or perhaps, you can just ask your mother to sell her car and give you the money. At least this way, you don't have to try and kill her for a measly few thousand dollars.

If you are interested in plastic surgery in the Denver, Colorado area, please contact the Broadway Center for Plastic Surgery today to schedule your initial consultation. Dr. Broadway will be happy to discuss creative financing options with you, but he will not help you kill your mother to pay for your breast implants.

You can find just about anything on the Internet these days. While there may be a large amount of trash lurking on websites, if you dig hard enough, you can find a few gems as well. I recently came across one of these gems on a website called heavy.com. It is an animated short entitled "Superficial Friends vs. Plastic Surgery Zombies."

The three and a half minute cartoon is action packed and delivers at every turn. The Superficial Friends consist of five of the most loathed, bratty celebrities tormenting Americans today: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen twins.

The cartoon starts with the five "super heroes" leaving their lair, which is modeled after the Hall of Justice found in the 1970's "Super Friends" cartoons that combined most of the major DC Comics superheroes in one show. As they leave their pad, each star is introduced. Highlighting these introductions are scenes of Paris Hilton humping the leg of a criminal like a dog in heat and Nicole Richie sticking her finger down her throat to vomit on a police officer. The narrator informs the viewer that our super heroes are "dedicated to selfishness and social ignorance."

In this particular adventure, the Superficial Friends have traveled to Honduras to get labia widening procedures at a covert plastic surgery lab. The controversial procedure is illegal in America, forcing the Superficial Friends to seek the assistance of the Cat Lady and her black market plastic surgery facility.

It is not long before our heroes discover that the Cat Lady has stolen labias from poor Hondurans for use in these controversial procedures. As they begin to raise a protest, the Cat Lady brings out her army of plastic surgery zombies to attack the Superficial Friends.

Nicole Richie borrows Paris Hilton's "call daddy for anything phone" and recruits her father for assistance. In what is most likely the highlight of the entire short, Lionel Richie appears out of nowhere and begins singing "All Night Long." The plastic surgery zombies clearly are not big fans of his music, and one of them rips Lionel Richie's arms off, causing blood to spurt into the air in projectile fashion.

The Cat Lady then uses her BOTOX ray to freeze the Superficial Friends in their tracks while she steals their Bulemia-o-copter to transport her plastic surgery zombies to Beverly Hills. They are on a mission to destroy all of the plastic surgeons in the area. As the Bulemia-o-copter takes off, it dumps a large pile of vomit on our heroes. Nicole Richie informs the rest of the group that the vomit is left over from her most recent binge -- 27 Tombstone pizzas and some Carl's Junior.

Somehow, the Superficial Friends break free of their vomitous BOTOX shackles and follow the Cat Lady back to Beverly Hills for the final showdown against her plastic surgery zombies. Nicole Richie assaults them with her massive shoe collection, but that does not slow them down as they continue to mercilessly pummel the city's plastic surgeons. Paris Hilton summons a horde of ex-boyfriends to do the job, but they are no match for the zombies and their BOTOX rays.

Things are starting to look bleak for the Superficial Friends. It looks as if the Cat Lady may succeed in ridding Beverly Hills of plastic surgeons. In a last-ditch effort, the Olsen twins combine their superpowers and transform into Bob Saget, who picks up the Cat Lady's BOTOX ray and uses it to destroy her. Plastic surgery has been saved.

The creativity of this piece is undeniable. It is highly entertaining from start to finish. In my opinion, any video where a zombie rips off Lionel Richie's arms to get him to stop singing is worth a watch. And of course, the video included the gratuitous Bob Saget scene that is crucial for the success of anything making fun of the Olsen twins.

Fortunately for Dr. Bray, our heroes were able to save the day before the plastic surgery zombies had their way with him. So if you are in need of a plastic surgery procedure in the Los Angeles or Beverly Hills, California area, please contact the Bray Plastic Surgery Medical Center, Inc. today to schedule a consultation with Dr. Bray. He does not harvest the body parts of poor Honduran farm workers for use in his procedures.

Miss USA Pageant officials have recently confirmed that they paid for Carrie Prejean's breast augmentation. Prejean was the Miss California contestant in the most recent Miss USA Pageant.

Prejean ultimately finished runner-up in the competition. She caused considerable controversy at the pageant when she openly stated her opposition to gay marriage during the question-and-answer portion of the competition. Many pageant insiders believe that her statements regarding gay marriage most likely cost her the Miss USA crown.

However, should she have even been runner-up under the circumstances? If this is a beauty pageant, shouldn't the contestants be judged on their natural beauty and not a surgically enhanced body? Is it fair to the other contestants who are comfortable with their bodies and who compete without the aid of plastic surgery to award this woman second place?

It seems to me that this is somewhat analogous to the steroids controversy that has plagued Major League Baseball during the past decade. Many people have argued that baseball players who have taken these performance enhancing drugs are nothing more than cheaters. This has caused several players, most notably Mark McGuire, to be denied access into the Hall of Fame despite having the career statistics to justify induction.

If Barry Bonds is to be vilified for taking steroids, resulting in many people claiming that his career home run record is tainted, then shouldn't we hold all competitors to similar standards? While breast implants are not illegal substances, they certainly constitute performance enhancement when it comes to a beauty pageant. If Barry Bonds gets an asterisk next to his home run record, then so should any beauty queen who wins after undergoing plastic surgery. Otherwise, you are penalizing all contestants who do not take similar measures.

If you need breast augmentation, liposuction, or a tummy tuck to have a strong showing in a swimsuit competition, then you most likely do not deserve to win the pageant. By awarding someone like Carrie Prejean second place, pageant officials are sending the wrong message to future contestants. They are essentially saying, "If you want to win, go see your local plastic surgeon."

There is another question here which must be discussed. Is it ethical for the pageant to pay for her breast augmentation? Miss USA Pageant co-director Keith Lewis spoke about the pageant's decision to fund her surgery. He claimed pageant officials felt that they wanted to help her have the confidence she needed to best portray herself at the competition. After talking with her following her victory at the Miss California competition, it became obvious to them that this operation would help her achieve the confidence she needed to compete at her best.

Personally, I think that self-confidence is a serious component of a person's beauty. If a woman lacks that confidence within herself, it will most likely show through at the competition and hurt her chances of winning. But if she lacks that self-confidence, is she truly the most beautiful or deserving of the crown? Is it the place of the pageant to give her a shot of self-confidence when they did not help other contestants in a similar way?

In my opinion, this incident further taints a competition that to me is already suspect in nature. I am not a fan of beauty pageants, and I don't watch them. I don't think that they portray women in the way they deserve to be portrayed, and I think that in many ways, they perpetuate the beauty myths that fuel many of the self image issues that a lot of American women suffer from. The fact that pageant officials have made the unspoken statement that this is what is valued in a beauty pageant is abhorrent.

This is not meant to be a tirade on breast augmentation. There are many reasons why women choose to undergo the surgery, and for many of them, it does help their self-confidence. Getting breast implants is a highly personal decision which should not be made lightly. But it has no place in a beauty pageant, and the pageant officials should not authorize payment of a contestant's surgery. That only makes a mockery of the entire competition, and to be honest, these pageants can't afford to look any more superficial than they already are.

If you are interested in breast augmentation in the Los Angeles, California area, please contact Bray Plastic Surgery Medical Center, Inc. today to schedule a consultation with Dr. Bray.